Recent news coverage has highlighted serious concerns about maternity care in the UK. Investigations into NHS maternity services have found that women and babies are sometimes failed not only by clinical errors but by a culture that struggles to acknowledge mistakes and learn from them.

For many women and families, the impact of difficult maternity care extends far beyond the birth itself. As a counsellor working with women in the perinatal period, I see how these experiences can shape confidence, identity, and emotional wellbeing long after hospital discharge.

This blog explores why these issues matter psychologically — and how counselling can support recovery and healing.

A System Under Pressure

A recent national investigation found that NHS maternity services are affected by staff shortages, pressure on resources, and a lack of consistency between areas.

Women described:

• Feeling unheard during pregnancy or labour
• Delays in receiving care
• Poor communication
• A lack of compassion
• Difficulty obtaining clear explanations after things went wrong

Perhaps most distressing was the finding that some services were reluctant to admit mistakes or apologise, leaving families feeling confused and unsupported.

Without honest conversations, many women are left trying to make sense of their experiences alone.

When Women Blame Themselves

One of the most powerful findings from the investigation is that women often blame themselves when something goes wrong in pregnancy or birth.

Without clear explanations, women may think:

• "I should have insisted something was wrong"
• "I failed my baby"
• "My body let me down"
• "I should have spoken up more"

These beliefs can persist for years.

In counselling sessions, I often meet women who are carrying quiet self-blame long after others assume they have "moved on."

Trauma Isn’t Always Obvious

A traumatic birth experience does not always involve dramatic events.

Sometimes trauma comes from:

• Not being listened to
• Feeling powerless
• Being dismissed
• Confusing or contradictory information
• Feeling unsafe
• Lack of kindness or respect

These experiences can lead to:

• Anxiety in future pregnancies
• Loss of trust in healthcare
• Low confidence as a parent
• Intrusive memories
• Feelings of isolation

Pregnancy and birth are profound life events. When they go badly, the emotional impact can be deep and lasting.

The Importance of Being Heard

Many women say the most painful part of their experience is not only what happened, but how they were treated afterwards.

Feeling ignored or dismissed can make recovery harder.

Being listened to can be healing.

Counselling offers a space where women can:

• Tell their story at their own pace
• Make sense of what happened
• Process difficult emotions
• Reduce self-blame
• Rebuild trust in themselves

Sometimes this is the first time a woman feels fully heard.

Support Alongside the NHS

Most NHS professionals work with great care and dedication, often under extremely difficult conditions.

But when care falls short, women deserve support.

Counselling does not replace medical care. Instead, it can sit alongside it — helping women process their experiences and regain a sense of stability.

Some women also want support with:

• Preparing for a future pregnancy
• Making sense of medical notes
• Deciding whether to make a complaint
• Rebuilding confidence in maternity services

You Are Not Alone

If you had a difficult experience with maternity care, you may wonder whether your feelings are "normal" or justified.

They are.

Your experience matters.

And support is available.

Talking with a counsellor can help you understand what you went through — and begin to move forward with greater confidence and self-compassion.