The Good Enough Mother: Letting Go of Perfect

As a perinatal counsellor in Southeast London, I meet many mothers who are exhausted, anxious, and full of self-judgment. Many of you have absorbed this quiet message: if I were doing it right, I’d always be calm, patient, and grateful. I’d love every moment.

Motherhood is not meant to be perfect. It is meant to be human.

A recent Guardian report has shone a light on the state of postnatal care in the UK, revealing a system that many women describe as unsafe, underfunded and severely understaffed. According to research from the National Childbirth Trust (NCT), thousands of new mothers feel overwhelmed, unsupported and lonely in the weeks and months following birth — and this isn’t just an “uncomfortable phase,” it’s a public health concern.

This paints a picture many counsellors recognise: early parenthood is emotionally complex, and when formal support systems fail, the emotional load often falls entirely on the individual.